Episode 36 of "Oz"
s04e12 Cuts Like a Knife

Hey kids! Did you ever want to know how to make a knife? Well, lucky for us, our wonderful narrator Augustus is going to tell us how! Yay! Crazy, crazy Alvarez kills another Latino this episode with --guess what?-- A KNIFE! The 'Gilette Bayonnet' we're told (take one razor blade from safety razor add one pencil, and mix). This is the end to his informant days. Back to solitary for you, my friend. Oh look... Alvarez is reaching into the bowl of his toilet and.. oh lord.. what's he smearing on...? Eww. Moving right along, Rebadow convinces Glynn to move Busmalis out of solitary and the geriatric pod rises again. Speaking of old people, Cyril must've got the real deal out of those aging pills because-dangnabbit if his hair ain't all grey and his eyes all wrinkly. 'holy mother of christ' ryan is heard to exclaim. Ryan tries to get them out of the program, but Dr. Nathan says no. Ryan gets mad, Cyril gets sad and then Ryan sings-- bad. (but it still makes me a wee-bit teary eyed, all the same. Damn those O'Reily boys.) Just as the aging pill thing is taking off, Wick dies, bleeding profusely (and grossly, i'll add) from the nose, all glassy-eyed and dead. One more bodily secretion and I'm through, I promise. Tidd tries to shank Said but loses the nerve which makes him... vomit! yay! Omar wants to do something that'll make him noticed. Shanking McManus seems to work well enough for him (with a 'blunt'- take a piece of metal from the metal shop, sharpen against wall, stab, twist, repeat). Hey! Everyone's in solitary! Mobay/Basil gets a visit from his old partner, only for her to tell him that he sucks. This makes Mobay/Basil sad. Remember those Chinese refugees? Yeah, well, even if you don't, Gongjin wants Jia Kemin to kill Morales, and tells him so. Supreme comes back to Em City with a grudge against Keller and O'Reily, since he's caught on that they're the ones who framed him for the deaths of Shemin and Browne. Supreme ain't exactly innocent either, since we learn he's the one that ratted out Hill to the cops. Hill tries to take Supreme on in the showers but Supreme kicks his ass old-school. Keller approaches Redding, suggesting that if he wants to take out Supreme, he'd be glad to help. Redding says he has no problem with Supreme, but a few short minutes later, we see Poet providing Method Man--err.. "Tug Daniels" with a shank (carve toothbrush end, hide in pocket, bristles up), and Supreme.. well, looky here, he's in the hospital bed next to Hill! Man.. this is a jam-packed episode. Mukada comes back from priest-camp, or wherever it was that he was at to find Reverend JC (hehe.. jeremiah cloutier.. jesus christ.. cute, fontana, real cute) has taken his flock. Mukada=jealous. He confronts JC who calls his crucifix 'showbiz on a stick'. The meeting does not go well. Beecher and Schillinger have an interaction with Sister Pete which is interrupted when the warden informs Schillinger that his son, Hank, has been found dead. Schillinger? Not pleased. Robson does was Robson does best, stirring up shit. He convinces Schillinger that Beecher is the man to go after, which he does, vowing to kill his whole family. While Beecher's playing with his daughter, his brother (whose standing outside) gets shanked with the night's last guest starring knife, the Don Juan held by Robson. Made from bedsprings. Penetrates. Get it? Beecher urges his dad to hide with Holly. Keller tries to convince Beecher that they have to take revenge against Schillinger. When Beecher doesn't comply, Keller knocks him out and tells ol' JC that *he* was the one who took the hit out on Hank and to pass the word along to Schillinger. Schillinger believes him, Beecher and him shake hands and make nice, while Keller sporting a fetching orange jumpsuit is transferred to Cedar Junction in Massachusettes to stand trial for Hank's Murder. Keller tells Beecher he's doing it for him. Beecher and Keller kiss goodbye, fanfic writers everywhere cry in disbelief and then go straight back to writing Beecher/Keller porn, and I sniffle and weep like a pathetic child And the worst stab wound of all, says Hill? The one to the heart. Awwwww...